Neanderthal Rights Association

DON’T BE A SPECIST!

Just because you may have more Homosapien in you than NRA members, it doesn’t mean your species is better!

Although you can support the NRA with your donations, you cannot be a card-carrying member unless you have at least 280 genetic markers from an accredited DNA analysis service.  If you can’t afford a DNA test, there are some physical features you can use to determine the percentage of Neanderthal in your ancestral lineage.  Use the chart comparison below to see if you qualify as an NRA member and be considered for a minority professorship at an Ivy League College, such as Harvard.

Once these simple demands have been met, Neanderthals will be able to lead normal lives among all hominids!

Obviously, the example on the right has a much higher percentage of Neanderthal and would be admitted to the NRA without further proof; but for most others, a DNA test will be required!

The NRA is organizing to ensure Neanderthals get the respect and compensation they deserve!  Too many of our species have been turned down for prestigious positions in education and government jobs.   The NRA is also demanding reparations from all races of Homosapien, due to the fact that they hunted our males and ate them, nearly causing us to become extinct!  It’s not our fault we taste like possum!  Then they took what women were left as their own, which is not very nice or proper.

 

  • Neanderthals will receive an annual stipend of no less than $100,000, or, a lifetime of free meals from Denny’s restaurants
  • To be recognized as a viable and disadvantaged species by the Unite Nations, just like the French
  • We demand the right to acquire our women by clubbing them in the head and dragging them back to our abode. This is no different than the Eskimo’s right to hunt endangered whales (it’s in our genes after all)
  • Our own restrooms at airports, schools, and public businesses
  • At least 1 member on all fortune 500 companies' board of directors
  • Free healthcare and grooming
  • Free education through the 6th grade
  • Congress must pass anti-specist laws and enforce Neanderthal hate crimes
  • Neanderthals must be allowed to hunt game year-round with their club and spear
  • Bakeries cannot turn down a catering request for a Neanderthal wedding

The NRA demands the following from the Homosapien Species:

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